Month: August 2020

The great nation of Arctischia bans dog abuse, with an execution order

After a troubling case with Mr. Andrew Garfield McGoo and his dog, the court has ruled to punish dog abusers with a firing squad.

Is My Dog Depressed? The Warning Signs and Solutions

On the 19th of July Mr. Andrew Garfield McGoo’s neighbors have reported potential animal abuse from Mr. Andrew’s household. The next day the ASS (Arctischia Secret Services) have made a sting operation to catch Mr. Andrew red handed. It was successful, and the court found Mr. Andrew guilty and the sentencing was being decided on for the past month. In the end, the Jury have decided to use a quick and easy way to dispose of the filth that stains the Federal Republic of Arctischia is with the help of a firing squad.

The Judge has further rules that all confirmed cases of animal abuse will be dealt with similarly.

Glory to Arctischia!

Boomer leaders refusing goat civil rights

Most leaders in under the control of the great nation of Arctischia are Zoomer kids, and they rule with epic rule. However, it has been relieved with urgency that the capitalist leaders (Mainly <redacted :D>) have been allegedly opposing the publicly supported Goat’s Rights movement in private. While many have been allegedly tricked by their capitalist lies during speeches pre-election, some frighting information have come from an anonymous source that in private they have been making anti goat remarks.

In protest to this, many Goat rights activists have proposed to make a Goat Empire, although that idea is not widely publicly supported. It is true however that a lot of the activists have stormed the house of <redacted>, and a lot of the outside supporters (activists from other nations, not as great as ours), have stormed <redacted>’s off shore property and have taken hostage over all they could get their hands on.

A couple of the activists at an offshore house of <redacted>

The activists demand a civil rights act to be passed now, but so far the only response from <redacted> was allegedly “fuck no” (sent via Discord to the great leader Shady Goat, at 10:05pm, Arctischia time)

As the story develops, the CNA will write articles updating all on this situation

Arctischia declares war on government spying tools, birds!

We all know about the bird “animals” that are used by the USA and Russia and other money hungry fat nations to spy on their citezens. Yesterday, the leaders of Arctischia have decided to not follow their oily capitalist dirty disgusting hands of the “sovereign nations”‘s way, and not do mass citezen survailance through birds, and any bird that lands on the Federal Republic of Arctischia will be shot & lethally damaged. This will prevent the power hungry capitalists from obtaining information on Arctischia’s citizens.

China is using robotic bird drones with cameras to monitor its ...
(a prime example of birds)

The leader “Shady Goat” has further stated that they will fight with fire and furry on any other spying techniques like Giraffe (Grand information radio and fucking filing electronics) and Cake (Comfortable annihilation kilometre electronics). It is a lie.

Furthermore, the great nation of Arctischia will file a claim with the newly joined CNN (not CNN news), specifically the ECJ to legally remove those nationalist nations of the face of this earth!

The leaders have not yet fully clarified on the means of how they will destroy them all, but has mentioned fake birds to lure in the “real” birds.

Arctischia COVID-19 free

Source: CDC

Thanks to the freezing climate of Arctischia and the government’s response to the pandemic Arctischia is finally COVID-19 free. The last month no new COVID-19 cases were reported and starting on next Friday the ban for public gatherings has been lifted and the 2 metre rule will be gradually relaxed.

Scientists from Arctischia’s Institute of Technology are now nearing the end of finalizing research for a vaccine to cure the disease. Testing on animal test subjects will begin shortly and if successful the vaccine will start to be rolled out to COVID-19 test stations to vaccinate those who are tested. The directorate for public health gave a speech about the scientific improvements Arctischia has made which included the following quote: “Thanks to our great scientists we can finally start relaxing the COVID-19 restrictions and start the recovery of our economy”. Happy cheering could be heard all over the city centre of the capital Frankhofstadt as the public heard the last words of the speech.